Romanticizing the Relationship

Yesterday there was an event for all the professionals in the marketing communication discipline at the company I work for – in all there were 7,000 people invited to the event. It was a big event – our CEO gave the keynote – infused the group with energy about what a great time it is to be a marketer at this company and how we have the opportunity with all the tools we have to fundamentally shift how marketing is done in a digital world. Then our SVP of marketing talked in more detail about how we can do it and spent a good part of her talk on career development.

I saw people I hadn’t seen in years and connected with past mentors – I cautiously told people of my plans to become a consultant and change my relationship with the company. The reactions were consistent– how could you leave the family? Why would you do something like that? Once work life balance worked its way into the conversation – I became their therapist – they totally understand and wish they could have better balance and don’t have the “guts” to do what I’m doing. The reject then embrace responses made me feel odd – so I stopped telling people midway through the day.

I came home from the event in a funk. I was even second guessing my decision – and embracing all the great things about the company – grasping the opportunities I have to be part of a fundamental shift in how communication is done with new digital tools. I already missed the fact I wouldn’t be able to attend this event next year given my vendor status. I was thinking about how cool some of the people are and I was appreciative of so many great training programs.

I was sharing all this with my partner who bluntly looked at me and said in simple relationship terms – your romanticizing a relationship that doesn’t exist – you’re like the abused spouse who forgot the pain of the last beating – it wasn’t even a year ago the paramedics peeled you off the floor when you collapsed from over work. And it was just this last weekend you had to work instead of go to a baseball game (he didn’t say that – I added the last part – because I still feel guilty).

He was right – I’m holding on to the idea of what I wanted it to be like and not being truthful with myself about the reality. I still love many things about the company and that is why letting go is hard – because it’s admitting the relationship didn’t work out the way I wanted it to – letting of the idea is sometimes harder the putting up with the crap.

In short – he said get it over and move on – there is no need to doubt what I am doing – but it’s ok to mourn the loss of the idea. He reminded me I will find a new community of marketers and communication professionals to pontificate the future.

After all when you clear the space of the old negative – you create new space for the new positive to enter your life. I need to clear this space so I can fill it with energy and passion to develop work life balance curriculum so others can have these same conversations with themselves about what is really important. It's ok to let go.