Do Europeans Really Have Better Work-Life Balance?

The perception is people have it better in Europe when it comes to work-life balance.  It’s a common belief I hear teaching, mostly attributed to amount of vacation time and government laws that dictate work weeks.   By law, most of the counties in Europe have a built in social responsibility to support a lifestyle of working to live, giving Europeans a leg up on the rest of the world when it comes to achieving more balance in life.  

For example the work week in France is 35 hours and in the UK it’s 37 hours.  Average vacation time is about 4 weeks in addition to government and national holidays – resulting in about 5 weeks (or slightly more) of vacation days each year.  From what I heard most people take all of their vacation time, if you don’t you lose it. It’s not like in the US in which you get to “roll it over” like cell phone minutes. 

So yes, at first glance, the Europeans have an easier go of reaching a better state balance on vacation and work policy alone.  However the issue goes a bit deeper. 

The folks I met work just as hard as anyone in any country.  Some people were quick to say they have even more pressure to perform at the same level in less hours than there global peers.  Now each country has its own cultural nuances however, overall there were some commonalties I noticed teaching in the UK, Ireland, France and Germany this month.

·         People take a proper lunch break most days. They leave their workspaces and go to a café or canteen to eat and connect with each other.  Not only that, they do this without laptops and cell phones and most times they do not talk about work. 

·         Many people had 2 mobile phones, one for work and one for non-work and they didn’t carry their work devices around when not working.

·         Many admitted to exceeding the standard work week once in a while, however when they do most will stay at the office and not take work home with them.   

·         In some of the buildings the lights actually turn off by 8PM making working late difficult.  

·         Overall most I talked with do not work on weekends unless it’s absolutely necessary.

·         I noticed people smiling and laughing more in office environments.

·         They ask different questions in the workshops. For example we spend more time talking about the “why” of imbalance compared to most counties where they want to only focus on “what” to do about it.

I learned enough on this trip be dangerous with my observations.  I would say the Europeans have some leading advantages on the issues, and I also saw many areas in which there are even greater challenges, which is a different post for later.  Perhaps even requiring an extend stay to more properly research the topic. 

How Does this Time of Year Make You Feel?

It started a couple of weeks ago; it will grow in intensity, and then lay dormant for eleven months. What I’m talking about is the emotional and physical energy of the holiday season.  Regardless of your faith it’s almost impossible to escape the energy shift that happens this time of year.   

The season evokes many feeling inside of us, the desire to please others, the want to be included and acknowledged, and hope for proof those around us really know who we are.  It’s easy to get caught up in the swirl to please, to say yes, to do exactly what you have done year after year. 

Ask yourself, how do your decisions make you feel?  Are the expectations you have on others and the ones they have on you realistic? Do the people you are choosing to surround yourself with raise or lower your internal flame?   In the mad rush of the season, pause and consider what you want to create.  (Hint: there is no wrong answer, only your answer.)

The Relationship between Perfection and Balance

I see it so many times.  It doesn’t matter what country I’m in or what company I’m working with, I see a direct relationship between the quest for “perfect” and the level of balance people feel.  What I’ve noticed is that people who strive for greater perfection tend to be more dissatisfied with their lives than those who are comfortable with the concept of “good enough” once in a while.  (This is not about living a life of mediocrity, but rather the ability to know what and when to let it go of.)  It’s not an easy lesson to master; I still struggle with this myself.  Letting go of the notion of perfect, if even on just a few things, can be very scary, as the path to perfection brings a sense of control and control brings comfort to many.   I found a great passage on the concept this weekend that I wanted to share.  It comes from Melody Beattie’s book, Journey to the Heart. 

“Let yourself be who you are. It’s difficult to be around people who are trying to be perfect – perfectly healthy, perfectly polite, perfectly poised, perfectly controlled.  Remember that being human means being imperfect, being flawed. Let yourself be. Let others be. Stand up and reveal who you are and know that you’re good enough.  Stop worrying that people will find out who you really are. Instead, hope that they do.  Help them by openly sharing yourself and being not who you think you should be but who you really are.” 

What not aim for “good enough” on a few things this week?

A New Direction

I’ve rename the blog, Your Choice, as balance is your choice and taking accountability for that choice is not always easy, that is where I come in.

Since 2008 I’ve been teaching and writing about work-life balance.  I’ve taught thousands of corporate employees in over 15 countries including India, Russia, Japan, Singapore, France, Germany, Canada and the United States. In these workshops I’ve heard from people who are struggling with many different challenges, and what I noticed is people have more common than different.  And that is the new direction I’m taking this blog and my business – to what we all share in common in our struggle to create balance in our lives.

In my travels people ask me the same two questions. What was it like for the people in ZYX country? What is my level of balance like flying all over the world to teach and write?  I have learned there is such a curiosity and desire to learn from each other on this topic and through this blog I will try to facilitate that learning, share more stories, more best practices and more about my own journey. (Just because I know better doesn’t mean I always do better!)

Before the year is out I will teach in the UK, Ireland and France and the path for 2013 will bring me to South America and China and who knows where else. Wherever there is a team willing to talk about the issues, I am willing to hold the conversation.  I anticipate having some great conversations, tidbits and tips to share moving forward.

If I Only Had More Time

I’d be wealthy beyond measure if I had a dollar every time someone in workshop said if they only had more time they would have better balance.  My belief is it’s not about having more time, it’s about how you use the time you have.  And this article on Inc.com, 3 Ways to GetMore Time Out of Less can you get you started in the right direction.  

The Secret to Lasting Success

Can lasting success be as simple as learning to be more grateful?  According to a bit on Inc.com – success can really be that easy – read more in True Secret to Success (It's Not What YouThink).  Perhaps this weekend spend sometime thinking about what you are grateful for and wanting what you have right now.

Perfectionism & Worthiness

We've all done it – said something so mean to ourselves that if anyone other than ourself said it we’d deck them.   But there we are beating ourselves up over and over again about doing, saying or being XYZ.  In a recent article posted to CNN called Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect, author Brené Brown, talks about the link between perfectionism and happiness.  She says, “We get sucked into perfection for one very simple reason: We believe perfection will protect us. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.”   If that got your attention, the rest of the article will captivate you.   I highly recommend for anyone who has ever flirted with the need to be perfect at anything.

Yes You Can Have it All

There is an article buzzing around called Why Women Still Can’t Have It All, by Anne-MarieSlaughter.   It’s a thought provoking piece that has stirred the work life balance meets feminism pot quite a bit. As an expert in work life balance, I’m having an issue with the article, not because the author doesn’t make great points – she does.  Rather because I look at the issue of work life balance in a different light.  First, paramount to my work is the belief that balance is a human issue not exclusive to a single gender or family structure.  Second, I believe you can have it all.  There I said it.   However, the key to having it all is in defining AND then being ok with what “all” means to you. That means not measuring your life and how you live it by it society, media or any other person’s ideas of what “all” means.  Having it all is up to you and your ability to truly want what you have.   Having it all is a choice, just as much as work life balance is a choice.

Busy. Bored. Ungrounded.

I knew I was not alone in cringing every time someone utters the word “busy”.   When I hear this word, my automatic assumption is the person who is "busy" is living out of their values, or filling their life with stuff to help them deny the fact they are living out of their values.   In this opinion piece in the New York Times, called The Busy Trap, the author discusses busy as way to avoid boredom or anxiety.   It reminded me of a concept Buddhist monk Pema Chodron, writes about as “ungroundedness”, a state in which people actually sit, feel and process all that is going on around them without the need to move to action, resolution or even draw conclusions.    So go ahead, I dare you, this weekend don’t be busy be bored.  Better yet be ungrounded.  

Digital Boundaries

What are your digital boundaries?  Let me explain.  How do you prefer to communicate with your friends, family and co-workers?  Is it e-mail, text, voice mail, instant message, Skype or a combination?   My guess is it’s a mix. But what you choose for your boss is probably not the same as what you want with your family and friends.  In my workshops we talk a lot about setting boundaries to find better balance, so much so I have a whole separate talk just on setting boundaries.  So you can imagine my delight at seeing the Wall Street Journal today a story called The Miscommunicators – all about setting digital ground rules.   It is a must read.   

Numbing Values

I read a startling article this morning in the Wall Street Journal, The Medication Generation.   It opened my eyes to something I had never considered.  There are millions of young people who have been on antidepressants from their tweens to their early twenties, who do not know what it is like to “be themselves”.   In my experience teaching I’ve seen that it’s hard enough for people to live their values, when they do know themselves.  I can only image the challenge this segment of the world will face as they strive to find balance between jobs, families and themselves as they age. (Let alone the long term impacts of taking medication daily might have on the body.)    Like the author of the article and related book on the topic, I can’t help but wonder if daily ongoing antidepressants at such a young age, impact the development or attraction to one’s core values. 

Denmark, Belgium and Spain – Take Top Honors

When it comes to work life balance it may come as no surprise that the Europeans take the lead.  Just this month the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) has posted it’s rankings for the nations with best work-life balance.  The study looks at the average length of the workday, employment rate of women with children and time spent on leisure and personal care.  Where does your country rank?

Inattention

It was very intentional that I call one of my workshops Stop & Think and my teaching philosophy is based on what I call the Awareness Framework.   I believe that a great deal of stress and imbalance in our lives comes from the lack of being present on multiple levels.  Turns out I’m not the only one who thinks the western world’s inability to focus is becoming an issue with big far reaching impact.  Recently the Wall Street Journal, published an article, How to End the Age of Inattention, about a new program at medical schools (Yale, Harvard, Connell to be specific)  that teaches medical students how to slow down and observe the details of life. In the program students enhance observation skills by looking and then describing paintings with whole people in them.   Turns out in a 2008 study it was found that the average attentions span over the last decade has gone from 12 minutes to 5 minutes. (One can only wonder what it is now.)  The program called Enhancing Observations Skills is now being picked up by some MBA schools as well. Perhaps this program should begin in elementary school, imagine the impact of building a child’s ability to pay attention from the get go.    

Understanding Impact

In my workshops we talk a lot about impact. Your impact might be intentional or unintentional, either way, impact is impact.  The magic thing about impact is that you will never really know the amount or type of impact you have on others. 

I was reminded of this yesterday when I learned a legend in Denver, (where I grew up) had passed away.  His name was Jerry Krantz.  He was the owner of Denver’s historic jazz club El Chapultepec, where he worked behind the bar for five decades. 

I had not thought of Jerry and “the Pec” (as regulars call it) in years.  I’m pretty sure Jerry had no idea the impact he made on me and my many friends who frequented the place.  I won’t bore you with how Jerry and the place impacted me, what I will say is even in my late teens when I first started going to there (sorry about the fake ID Jerry) I knew there was something different about Jerry and what he was creating. 

Now I can see he was living his values.  Anyone who entered the bar could feel his passion for life and jazz. Through sharing his values he created a special place where everyone was equal, if even just for a night.  I thank Jerry for his unintentional impact on me and the community of Denver and the plethora of jazz lovers who experienced the original Pec.

I found a YouTube video that captures the essence of the Pec – no frills, red leather booths, mirrors on the walls and straight up old school jazz.  Thanks Jerry for the impact you made on me, the community of Denver and the plethora of jazz lovers who experienced original the Pec. 

Remember you never know the impact you are having on someone right now.

The Dark Side of Happiness

Talk about happiness is everywhere these days (not just on my blog) and most of the chatter is about the positive benefits of being happy.  This article, Four Ways Happiness Can Hurt You, caught my attention.   Can happiness be bad?   Turns out, as with everything too much of a good thing – even happiness can have a negative impact to your state of being.

Why Not Make Your Next Meeting a Walk Outside?

For anyone that knows me they know that I’ve been known to conduct some of my best meetings walking along the Kirkland waterfront or hiking on a mountain trail in the Cascades. Turns out the folks at Kaiser Permanente in California agree that it is a productive way to have a meeting and improve your health at the same time. Next time you have the chance, try taking the meeting outside and see what happens.  For more on the story check out the NPR  health blog.

Happy People

A fun article on Yahoo today - Surprising Secrets of Happiness has some simple tips for how to create more happiness in your life.  All great, backed by research and easy to do – pick one and see if it boosts your mood!   

Happy Jobs

On Monday Forbes published an article about the happiest jobs in America. Leading the pack were software assurance manager, executive chef and property manger. According to the article, "Many of the happiest jobs have some component with working with people. Folks who work with others tend to rate their happiness higher on our site."

Why We Fail to Have Great Career

A professor of Economics at the University of Waterloo in Canada, Larry Smith has fun talking about careers in this TED Talk.   In a nut shell – don’t settle for interesting – go for passion.

How Are Your New Year resolutions Going?

How many of you started this year with buckets of passion around a resolution or two?  And how many of you are still stuck in your old behaviors and patterns?  Its ok you are not alone!  Start anywhere and for those of you needing some extra motivation to recharge your efforts international bestselling author and motivational speaker Dr. John Demartini is offering a public talk via webcast on Wednesday February 22 on  “SuccessfullySetting & Achieving Goals - How to Be More, Do More and Have More in 2012”.    There is no better time than today to start making your 2012 dreams a reality.

Is it a Work-Life Balance Issue or Your Age

I couldn’t help myself in posting this as many of my workshop attendees are between 30-50 years old, and like we discuss getting clear on the root issues that are causing the imbalance is half the solution to creating more balance.  So what do you do when the cause is your age? This article in Scientific American, MidlifeMisery: Is There Happiness After the 40s? might offer some hope that it’s only a passing stage.   

Is Resilience The Key to Happiness?

According to an article posted on the BBC, the key to solving depression and finding long lasting happiness might lay in a person’s capacity for resilience. However many questions remain about resilience – is it learned, is it something you are born with or is it within your brain chemistry?  I wonder, once you develop it, is it something that works for all situations and circumstances or are there different strains of resiliency one needs to develop to cope with the plethora of situations people face every day?  

Good and Bad Stress

Not all stress is bad for you – not only does stress keep you alive when facing danger it can give you the boost you need to get your hustle on when you need it most.   Today in the Wall Street Journal there is an article; When Stress is Good for You, on the division between good and bad stress, and techniques to keep you in the healthy stress zone.