The Devil You Know

I thought the journey to finding balance was going to be much easier once I had accepted accountability for my own actions. I thought that having the awareness mixed with setting boundaries and saying no was going to be the hardest part of the journey. I was naïve to think it was that simple.

Now that I see the world in a different way – I can’t unsee it and go back to the way it was before. It’s like when you are looking to buy a new car, you become aware of all the cars like that one on the road when before you hadn’t noticed how many (enter car name here) were driving around.

Now that I’ve tasted the succulent flavors of balance - I’ve become almost allergic to the smell of mania and bitter bite of craziness around me at the office. It’s making me physically anxious like I’ve eaten a bowl of candy and chased it with a pot of coffee.

It’s more than that – I’ve become even more aware of the balance struggle among my friends and family – and I realized I live in a half world mixed with those who inspire me to move forward on this journey and those who’d like me to just shut up and stop talking about it because they are still in that denial, self preservation mode making my ramblings a threat.

Which extends the thought of balance past the work environment to the home environment – and how the interpersonal workings of a family and friend network can be just as disruptive to ones sense of balance as a toxic work environment can be. And moving forward from that type of balance disturbance can be even trickier than changing jobs or saying no to a boss because you are dealing with deep emotions, obligations and years of history.

For many – being out of balance is all they know and even the idea of being in balance – causes panic. Change is hard – especially when it’s for the better – because there is no “better” comparison to mirror – no understanding of what a positive change will feel like. And that creates fear – and fear creates indecision and tolerance of toxic situations – weather it be at home or work. It’s the whole devil you know thinking.

In the end it always goes back accountability for yourself. Ask yourself - do you want to live with the devil you know or are you ready for the pitch fork to be removed from your ass?