Is apprising to achieve work life balance the same thing as aspiring to have a balanced life? That is the question that came up this weekend while I was in Vegas. The answer to this question is ground zero on the topic. I think that work life balance and living a balanced life are two different thing – albeit related concepts that go hand and glove, they are different realities – different mental states of being.
Like addition or loss I see steps here. First there is awareness that things are not working they way they are, the recognition the dam is going to break. The easy default is to examine work – because there is an obvious villain to blame – and it takes up so much of our time it makes sense to start there. Then amendments are made – a week or two is taken for vacation, a sick day – finger in the dike solutions.
Next phase is personal accountability – the vacation was nice – but now setting boundaries and say no is needed – and the relationship with work begins to change. Then a peaceful state of accomplishment – for a short while – a little balance honeymoon if you will – until you feel the leaks – the water slowing dripping in – you realize you are still not living the life you want. Somehow you still don’t have time for the kids, your spouse, education, family, hobbies – whatever it is you wanted to do to feel more in balance.
The last stage, the dam breaks – and water gushes everywhere - it’s not work that needs to be in balance or your relationship with the company you work at that needs to be examined – it’s you that needs to balanced and your relationship with all parts of yourself that need attention. There is no villain here to blame – no bad company or mean manager - just you in a kayak with some hard choices to make to get to your peaceful island of balance.
For some these choices are quitting a job, moving to smaller community, giving up income to become a full time mother/father, opening a small business, pursuing a passion – they all require a fundamental life shift that go way beyond the notion of putting work in balance.
Which brings me back to the question at hand - I believe that in order to have deep sustaining work life balance – one must first be on the road to inner balance or they will paddle around in circles.
1 comment:
The fundamental question...
If you honestly got word at the doctor's office you had 3 years to live, what would you do? Think about it. Would you change your work relationship? Would you change your relationships all together? How would you spend the time? What if it were 3 months? Would it change...the relationships? How about 3 weeks? Now what would you do? Is it different? What about 3 hours? Now what? What if this next deep breath was your last intake...AND your breath out was your last? Dead to the world. Would you be conscious of this last breath, or would you continue working some mindless drone position thinking you will make a difference. Hell, Bill himself will go to the grave and did he really make a difference? Seriously, did he make a difference? Only he will know if he is satisfied with what he did to "balance" it all. This is not about balance. Its not about accountability. Its about consciously knowing yourself and not spending endless hours chasing your tail. You, we, bill....we all go to the grave. Until we realize this life is short, really, really short and that we are nothing to this world...we can be free. Think about it. Love ya.
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